Teachers are Tired but Hopeful

Teachers are Tired. Teachers have been tired and it has only gotten worse since COVID hit. Teachers, like so many other workers, are bearing the brunt of all of our country's problems, from personal beliefs to political beliefs, to the selfishness that has come out in droves amongst our citizens, and so much more. We see and hear so much and are faced with a barrage of problems for us to solve at the drop of a dime, leaving us to feel like an empty vessel upon returning home to our families. 

It feels as if we are a dartboard in a crowded pub on a Saturday night, the unending pricks of sharp objects puncturing our true being, our sense of self, our sense of worth. 

As I arrived home from work the other day, I helped my husband with dinner, threw a load in the wash, then went to pick up my son from football practice and stopped at the store on the way home.  I was feeling tired and knew that I was short with my son. On the ride home from the store, he asked me why I had been in a bad mood lately. That question stopped me in my tracks. It made me stop to check myself. 

I later apologized to him and told him that I wasn't handling the stress of work well. It broke my heart to know that I was being short and moody at home, in a place that is supposed to be a place of comfort for my boy. 

We have been given so much responsibility and very little support as teachers. We are slated to care for the nation's children and even though districts love to throw around the word "self-care" and have us attend meetings that are supposed to help us with our self-care, it is truly counterintuitive, if you ask me. Instead, why not say to teachers, "We see you, we hear you, we want to be there for you and we will do so by stepping into your classroom for an hour while you go on a coffee run? Or, canceling a pointless staff meeting for a day? Or, canceling a PLC? Or, giving us time to be alone with our team to truly plan what needs to be planned without having the lingering bark of someone who needs statistics, and deadlines, and next steps, and so on. All that is great, but we are tired. We are barely hanging on. We are short-staffed. We are juggling twenty different hats when we are only supposed to wear one.  

I don't know if things will get better, I suppose they will. Even as I type those words, I keep thinking of being short an assistant and knowing that I am going to be meeting a new student this upcoming week, which means more to do with not enough help.

My life is great. I have nothing to complain about. I am blessed to work with children. However, it doesn't take away from the fact that we are stressed; Teachers are tired.

I wrote the words above before heading to our winter break and finished this post today, 01/02/22. I hope that as I go back to work tomorrow, that things will be easier. 

• I say this even after receiving a phone call from a parent saying that she and her husband have COVID and so she will not be sending her children to school. 
• I say this after packing cleaning supplies for tomorrow because our school district has no mitigation whatsoever aside from giving parents the option to quarantine. 
• I say this after knowing I have an IEP due the day after tomorrow.
• I say this worrying about two students who were directly impacted by a horrible human who struck them with his car while they were celebrating in a Christmas parade in our town. 
• I can continue to say more of what is hard these days, but perhaps this is enough for now.

All that being said, I am grateful to go back to see our young students who are the reason I, and many other teachers, show up to work each day. I am grateful to see my lovely students who are healing after the tragic accident in our community and are back to school vibrant and wanting to learn. What strength they possess. It is hard to think my life is stressful and difficult knowing what they have been through.

I am hopeful that 2022 will be so much better than 2021. As teachers, not only are we strong and capable, but our resilience is what makes us who we are and our knowledge and compassion for others is a huge part of why we do what we do.  

May 2022 bring teachers all the happiness and also give all of us the courage and strength to do what we truly want to do with our lives, whether it be continuing the learning process as an educator, venturing out into a new career, or finding a side hustle that brings us joy. Whatever the case may be, may we live our lives with 100% integrity and personal growth.